THE SEARCH FOR ELLIE MAE
Mom is Pam Evans of Alvin, on the far right. Dad is Tom Evans. |
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MEETING THE EVANS FAMILY
"No matter where Charlie goes, he sees someone he knows. Even when we went to Sturgis he bumped into someone he knew!" my husband said about his best friend Charlie. My husband and I love Charlie and his wife Nancy Goodson of Alvin. The Goodsons and we had gone out to dinner then decided to stop by Starbucks in a neighboring town ten miles away.
We were looking for a table when we bumped into Tom and Pam Evans. Charlie introduced them to us and we laughed because Tony had just made the remark about Charlie seeing someone he knows where ever he goes. During the evening I saw the titles of some books the Evans had selected to flip through before buying.
We began to discuss the books and during the conversation they said their young son had Asperger Syndrome, a high-functioning autism. My sister and I had just been discussing a woman she knew with Asperger's Syndrome. I was really interested in learning about this disability. Now I had the opportunity to have someone to talk to first hand about a child with Asperger's!
There were so many questions. How did the mom figure out her child had it? What is it like for the child? What did she do to work around it; live with it daily; plan for his future? I wanted to know every detail. I got her phone number and it wasn't long before I was knocking on their door.
The night we met The Evans at Starbucks Michael wasn't with them. They needed a night away to 'feel normal' they said. Having a child who is 'different' is a heavy burden. Meeting Michael was foremost on my mind. Once I met him I was captivated by him!
People with Asperger's are often times above average in intelligence. When I met Michael, I knew he was extremely bright. He was very loving and very social, always hugging me when we would meet. His mom explained he had seizures and suffered with some of the typical symptoms of his condition, which are extreme anxiety and frustration when his routine is altered.
The Service Dog was needed to help him adjust to getting out of the house and going into public places without all of the family feeling stressed or overwhelmed by worrying Michael might have 'a melt down'. By concentrating on controlling the dog, I was hoping Michael would be less focused on stressors which triggered his anxiety and acting out. By having a Service Dog, I knew people would come to him to ask about the dog, and hopefully he would interact with people in a positive way since the focus was on the dog.
Michael’s mom explained she had to arrange for a sitter for her son if she went anywhere outside the home. Her dream was for Michael to have the freedom to be able to go along on all the family’s outings. His parents were both devoted Christians and I felt God led me to them because of my ability to "train a stupid dog." (click for my story)
A year passed without a 'special' dog showing up at a local rescue where I volunteered. I had gone by most of the larger shelters in person to give us a better chance of making an impression so they might remember to call if a good candidate came along. After a while it began to look like we were never going to get a dog.
We were looking for a table when we bumped into Tom and Pam Evans. Charlie introduced them to us and we laughed because Tony had just made the remark about Charlie seeing someone he knows where ever he goes. During the evening I saw the titles of some books the Evans had selected to flip through before buying.
We began to discuss the books and during the conversation they said their young son had Asperger Syndrome, a high-functioning autism. My sister and I had just been discussing a woman she knew with Asperger's Syndrome. I was really interested in learning about this disability. Now I had the opportunity to have someone to talk to first hand about a child with Asperger's!
There were so many questions. How did the mom figure out her child had it? What is it like for the child? What did she do to work around it; live with it daily; plan for his future? I wanted to know every detail. I got her phone number and it wasn't long before I was knocking on their door.
The night we met The Evans at Starbucks Michael wasn't with them. They needed a night away to 'feel normal' they said. Having a child who is 'different' is a heavy burden. Meeting Michael was foremost on my mind. Once I met him I was captivated by him!
People with Asperger's are often times above average in intelligence. When I met Michael, I knew he was extremely bright. He was very loving and very social, always hugging me when we would meet. His mom explained he had seizures and suffered with some of the typical symptoms of his condition, which are extreme anxiety and frustration when his routine is altered.
The Service Dog was needed to help him adjust to getting out of the house and going into public places without all of the family feeling stressed or overwhelmed by worrying Michael might have 'a melt down'. By concentrating on controlling the dog, I was hoping Michael would be less focused on stressors which triggered his anxiety and acting out. By having a Service Dog, I knew people would come to him to ask about the dog, and hopefully he would interact with people in a positive way since the focus was on the dog.
Michael’s mom explained she had to arrange for a sitter for her son if she went anywhere outside the home. Her dream was for Michael to have the freedom to be able to go along on all the family’s outings. His parents were both devoted Christians and I felt God led me to them because of my ability to "train a stupid dog." (click for my story)
A year passed without a 'special' dog showing up at a local rescue where I volunteered. I had gone by most of the larger shelters in person to give us a better chance of making an impression so they might remember to call if a good candidate came along. After a while it began to look like we were never going to get a dog.
THE THREE OF US GO LOOKING FOR A DOG
One day Michael's mother, his sister, and I decided to go from shelter to shelter to look for a dog. I don't remember how many shelters we visited, it could have just been one. I remember getting caught in a downpour. It's been 2 years so all I remember clearly is leaving the shelter with a better idea of what I thought Pam E wanted.
There were 2 things she was firm on when we first met. She wanted to save a rescued dog rather than buying one, and she didn't want a puppy. I supported her belief in rescued dogs, and we talked about how I couldn't assess a puppy. No one can tell what a puppy will grow up to be like as far as abilities. So, I supported both her getting a rescue and it not being a puppy.
I was used to seeing dogs in animal shelters. They aren't clean and groomed.They aren't well behaved. But I forgot Pam E was a visitor in the world of discarded animals and she had no idea shelter dogs can be so shocking. Suddenly she came face to face with a smelly, matted, and a wildly hyper dog. The dog was probably acting worse than Michael in a meltdown. I was glad she didn't fall in love with the dog. I would have had to tell her no.
Once alone, Pam E told us she thought a wild dog like that would scare Michael to death! The size alone would be intimidating to him, she said.
I started thinking 'little dog' like a Benji looking cuddly dog. Pam E interrupted my thoughts as I flipped pictures of different mid sized dogs in my mind. She said she wanted to start small so Michael wouldn't be afraid, but end up big because Michael would grow. The pages stopped flipping in my brain. Start little and get big? Oh, no, not a puppy!
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ON THE LEFT HE IS IN JAIL, FILTHY AND MATTED.
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ON THE RIGHT AFTER HE WAS RESCUED BY NABS AND GROOMED.
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IT IS DIFFICULT TO VISUALIZE WHAT A DOG WILL LOOK LIKE AFTER IT IS CLEANED UP. THEY EVEN ACT DIFFERENTLY ONCE THEY ARE BAILED OUT OF A KILL SHELTER.
"Maybe a puppy would be better; one that doesn't shed and will grow big enough to keep up with him when he is a teenager," she concluded. My heart sank.
I knew finding the kind of puppy she wanted in a rescue was next to impossible. She wanted something that didn't shed. Not shedding meant a Standard Poodle or a Labradoodle with poodle hair. Both of those are breeds people sell, not take to the pound. And even if a young one got to the pound one way or another, I wouldn't know how to recognize the difference in it and in any other fluffy puppy. What a dilemma!
Even if, and I emphasis IF, we found a puppy to fit the bill, I didn't have any way of knowing what a puppy would be like when it was grown. Finding what she wanted was impossible. On top of all her criteria, we had to add mine! (story continued in next tab: Santa brings Ellie).
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